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Showing posts with label Hukat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hukat. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 11, 2022
Wednesday, May 12, 2021
Thursday, July 11, 2019
Monday, June 25, 2018
Parashat Hukat: Conflict Resolution
Conflict Resolution
A Message for Parashat Hukat 2018
Click here to view as PDF
Although Moshe's sin at Mei Merivah stands as a
pivotal event in our national history, the Torah is surprisingly vague in its
description of the exact mistake. God rebukes Moshe for lacking trust and
failing to sanctify Him before Am Yisrael, but never details the
specific blunder. There are, therefore, dozens of traditional approaches and
interpretations to this episode. Perhaps the Torah’s silence in pinpointing one
particular offense, however, points to the fact that Moshe’s sin lay not in a
specific sentence or action but rather in its general approach.
The
episode began with the nation’s belligerent confrontation:
And the community (ha-am) had
no water, and they assembled against (va-yikahalu) Moshe and Aharon.
(Bemidbar 20:2)
Upon hearing their angry complaints, Moshe
and Aharon fled:
And Moshe and Aaron with him, came from the assembly (ha-kahal)
to the entrance of Ohel Mo’ed… (6)
By shifting the description of the people
from “the community” (v. 2) to “the assembly” (v. 6), the Torah called
attention to the people’s unified stance against Moshe and Aharon at that time.
It painted a scene where the perceived threat from the people lay not in their
claims, but in their intimidating stance and positioning.
God then instructed Moshe:
Take the staff and assemble (ve-hakhel)
the community (ha-edah), you and Aharon your
brother, and you shall speak to the rock before their eyes… (8)
Surprisingly, God’s advice for dealing with
the people at that time did not refer to combatting their strength of unison by
dispersing them and scattering them about. Instead, He commanded Moshe to
regroup the people and redirect their potential for unity toward another
purpose. Moshe failed at this mission:
And Moshe and Aharon gathered the assembly (ha-kahal)
in front of the rock… (10)
Instead of engaging the people as a
“community” (edah) in need of a repurposed “assembly” (kahal), as
God had commanded, Moshe approached them as an unalterable “assembly” that awaited
confrontation. Whereas God had instructed him to handle the situation by
embracing the nation’s latent unity and rebuilding it, Moshe saw their
unity as a threat and prepared to fight against it. Moshe’s
inability to approach the situation in the way that God had demanded exposed
his limits for future leadership.
God perhaps hinted at the importance of this
approach again, during a later conflict in the parashah:
…And the people grew impatient on the way. And the people
spoke against God and against Moshe…And God sent against the people the viper-serpents,
and they bit the people, and many people of Yisrael died. (21:4-6)
After the people cried to Moshe, God instructed
him the remedy:
“Make you a viper and put it on a standard, and so
then, whoever is bitten will see it and live.” (8)
He taught Moshe that overcoming the dangers
of the viper-serpents would not come through a head-on attack of the venomous
amphibians. That was a losing battle. Instead, he was to redirect the snakes’
powers over life and death by constructing a viper that would not take life but
rather grant life.
All too often our own instincts during times
of conflict resemble that of Moshe. We believe that the appropriate way to
overcome a threat is to strengthen ourselves and defeat it in a duel. We fail
to realize, however, that the ideal approach to resolution is often a patient
acceptance of the challenge while setting our eyes on reorienting the
challenger.
Psychotherapist Viktor Frankl taught his
students and patients a method known as “paradoxical intention.” He told how he
was once pulled over by a policeman for driving through a yellow light. Rolling
down his window, he greeted the cop with a flood of self-accusations: “You’re
right, officer,” he initially told him. “How could I do such a thing?” he
continued, “I am sure I will never do it again, and this will be a lesson to
me.” The officer did his best to calm and reassure Frankl, telling him that
such a thing could happen to anyone, and that he was sure he would never do so
again.[1]
Instead of engaging the officer in an argument in defense of himself, Frankl overcame
the challenge by embracing the officer’s approach and redirecting the impending
assault from rebuke to remorse.
More often, however, Frankl instructed his
patients to use paradoxical intention for dealing with personal issues of
anxiety or compulsion. He told about a young physician who consulted him
regarding his fear of perspiring. The anticipatory anxiety of perspiration was
often enough to bring about excessive sweating. Instead of defeating the
anxious perspiration through denial, Frankl advised the patient to embrace the
sweating. He told the man that when he sensed the onset of sweating he should
deliberately show people how much he could sweat. He should then say to
himself, “I only sweated out a quart before, but now I’m going to pour at least
ten quarts!” By redirecting the sweat from a source of embarrassment to one of
pride, the man was able to permanently vanquish his anxiety.[2]
Beyond the specific missteps of Moshe at Mei
Merivah, his mistaken approach to resolving conflict proved most fatal. A
leader who consistently combats the strengths of his adversaries with his own
might may prevail for a time. Ultimately, however, his power will drain and he
will concede defeat. Enduring leaders emerge instead by carefully redirecting
the incoming threats. Their strength is found in their embrace of the difficulties
as they deliberately assign them a new purpose or plan.
Tuesday, June 19, 2018
Parashat Hukat: We Are Not Worthy
We Are Not Worthy
A Message for Parashat Hukat 2016
Click here to view as PDF
וַיֹּאמֶר ה' אֶל מֹשֶׁה וְאֶל אַהֲרֹן...קַח
אֶת אַהֲרֹן וְאֶת אֶלְעָזָר בְּנוֹ וְהַעַל אֹתָם הֹר הָהָר. וְהַפְשֵׁט אֶת
אַהֲרֹן אֶת בְּגָדָיו וְהִלְבַּשְׁתָּם אֶת אֶלְעָזָר בְּנוֹ וְאַהֲרֹן יֵאָסֵף
וּמֵת שָׁם. וַיַּעַשׂ
מֹשֶׁה כַּאֲשֶׁר צִוָּה ה' וַיַּעֲלוּ אֶל הֹר הָהָר לְעֵינֵי כָּל הָעֵדָה. וַיַּפְשֵׁט
מֹשֶׁה אֶת אַהֲרֹן אֶת בְּגָדָיו וַיַּלְבֵּשׁ אֹתָם אֶת אֶלְעָזָר בְּנוֹ
וַיָּמָת אַהֲרֹן שָׁם בְּרֹאשׁ הָהָר. וַיֵּרֶד מֹשֶׁה וְאֶלְעָזָר מִן הָהָר.
And God
said to Moshe and Aharon…“Take Aharon and Eleazar his son and bring them up Hor
the mountain. And strip Aharon of his garments and clothe with them Eleazar his
son, and Aharon will be gathered up and will die there.” And Moshe did as God
had charged and they went up Hor the mountain before the eyes of all the
community. And Moshe stripped Aharon of his garments and clothed with them
Eleazar his son, and Aharon died there on the mountain top. And Moshe came
down, and Eleazar with him, from the mountain.
(Bemidbar
20:23-29)
As we read that the great leader Aharon was
informed of his imminent death, it is most appropriate to expect an ensuing
description of his actions during his last moments alive. It is natural to anticipate
a parting scene dominated by the “leading role Aharon.” The Torah ironically
teaches instead what Moshe did at this time. Acting “as God had
charged,” Moshe led Aharon and Eleazar up the mountain, Moshe stripped
Aharon of his garments and Moshe then clothed Eleazar. In a markedly unexpected
passage, the scene of Aharon’s death is painted not by his own actions, but by
those of Moshe.
Viewed as part of the broader portrait of
Aharon’s life as a leader, however, this depiction of his death is not so
surprising. Consider his emergent identity in the Torah, upon Moshe’s return to
Egypt after many years away. Whereas Moshe was first raised a prince and then
escaped to Midyan for some time, Aharon was born and bred a loyal member of a
nation of tormented slaves. Understanding these circumstances, who could blame
Aharon if he felt jealous upon learning that his younger brother was appointed
leader of that nation? But it was not so. God informed Moshe, “…Look, he
(Aharon) is coming out to meet you, and when he sees you, his heart will
rejoice” (Shemot 4:15). And so it was.
Thus began Aharon’s career as the comfortable “secondary
leader” of Am Yisrael. He lived the rest of his life with the poise of a
man whole-heartedly content with his appointed role in the shadows of his
brother.
Howard Shultz, CEO of Starbucks, once related an
experience that he shared with my rosh yeshivah, Rav Nosson Zvi Finkel, z”l.
Rabbi Finkel, who stood at the head of the largest yeshivah in history, once
approached the Kotel with Shultz. Rabbi Finkel unexpectedly stopped and stood in
his place some thirty feet from the wall. Shultz beckoned him further, but
Rabbi Finkel explained, “I’ve never been closer than this.” Asked why, he
quietly answered, “You go. I’m not worthy.” Shultz thus designated Rabbi Finkel
the paradigmatic “servant leader,” a man who consistently put others first and
led from the heart.[1]
True leaders don’t seek the limelight of self-exposure,
nor the satisfaction of public recognition. They are satisfied with working from
“behind the scenes,” and are in constant thought of how to better the lives of
those around them. Learning from the life of Aharon we must recall Rabbi
Finkel’s poignant remark and lesson – “We are not worthy.”
[1] America Deserves a Servant Leader, Op-Ed for The New
York Times on Aug. 6th, 2015, available at: nytimes.com/2015/08/06/opinion/america-deserves-a
servant-leader.html?_r=0.
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